Make cheque payable to M. Mouse

July 22, 2006

Going back to pretty much my first-blogged sentiment, that’s nearly three hours of my life I can never get back.

For reasons I don’t want to mention*, I have just returned from the cinema, where I was forced to watch Pirates of the Caribbean 2. For those of you who don’t want to hear about the contrived let’s-set-up-another-episode premise of this cinematic bile, close your eyes now**.

Now I’m not averse to trilogies per se. Three, after all, is the magic number. But I remember them being a bit less blatant in their approach. The final scene of the latest theme park ride-based celluloid filth was absolutely Snakes on a Plane. I am yet to witness another film so cynical in its come-see-the-sequel moneygrabbing. For the love of all that is holy – even Police Academy II served as more than just a segue between I and III. Admittedly, II was something of a Bobcat Goldthwait vehicle, but I digress.

I hate leaving a cinema with the film having just taunted me with over 2 hours of “Haha – you idiot. You just paid far too much to watch this drivel. AND YOU’LL HAVE TO DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN ONCE WE CAN SURGICALLY REMOVE THE LAST OUNCE OF PRIDE FROM ALL OF THE ACTORS.” It’s just shameless.

Garfield 2 looks good though***.

* but let’s call her “Clair”

** and open them now

*** No. No it doesn’t.


5 Responses to “Make cheque payable to M. Mouse”

  1. Bleiglass Says:

    Sorry to hear that, still will have to watch the DVD, but maybe not hot from the press at 11.99, but after another 3 month of maturing at 4.99…

  2. Phil Says:

    Probably should have checked with the ninja first…

  3. mushyp Says:

    Damn Ninja appears to have hit the nail right on the head. Probably with a roundhouse kick…

  4. Lawrence Says:

    Pajiba do a pretty good line in ascerbic reviews that are correct the majority of the time and they couldn’t stand it either. I kinda liked it, but then a) I like saying ‘Arrrr!’ and b) I was a little drunk at the time. Come on. A film doesn’t have to have Natalie Portman in a scrum cap to be good…

  5. ian Rogers Says:

    Personally I think any film that has Keira in a wet shirt within 5 seconds of the start has to be inspired 😉

    Seriously though, I thought it was a hoot. Ok, not the most cerebral of films ever as evidenced by the little kids in the row behind me laughing their heads off at the Krakken phlegm, but I’d watch it just to see Johnny Depp running away along the beach.

    Welcome back from hols Ant…

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