If you can’t enjoy the displeasure of others, what can you enjoy?

October 13, 2006

Cards on the table straight away: I’ve got big clumpy feet, and sometimes struggle to walk in a straight line, instead preferring to maintain a veneer of forward momentum while jagging off at otherwise unthought-of angles.

It should be borne in mind, though, that I am not always entirely at fault, in the event of bumping into someone during the rush hour walk in to work. Sometimes someone will bump into me. Not having a persecution complex (ahem), I realise that someone has just bumped into me by accident. In most cases, it is fair to assume that this accidental bump does therefore not represent the culmination of the person having schemed all day long about a way just to annoy me. Thus, a cheery nod to recognise their apology is usually enough to set both protagonists straight. Job done, game over. Everyone can get back to what they’re doing.

However, some people are clearly so very very important that if I bump into them on a crowded pavement, this obvious personal attack by me is met with the consternation which it deserves. In such cases, where my apology is offered and rejected, the only option available to me is the infliction of displeasure upon the bumpee, typically through the medium of sarcasm. Such an instance occurred earlier this week, when I collided head-on with a terribly important-seeming businesslady. A brief summary of the concominant conversation is presented below.

Me: Sorry about that.
Terribly important-seeming businesslady: WHY DIDN’T YOU LOOK WHERE YOU WERE GOING?
M: Pardon?
Ti-sb: I SAID WHY DIDN’T YOU LOOK WHERE YOU WERE GOING?
M: And I assume that you were looking where you were going?
Ti-sb: OF COURSE I WAS.
M: Then can I ask why you chose to walk into me?
Ti-sb:
Ti-sb:

The terribly important-seeming businesslady barged past me in an obviously flustered state, and walked off muttering to herself. I continued my walk to the station with a cheery smile on my face and a spring in my step. Mushy 1, Life 0.

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2 Responses to “If you can’t enjoy the displeasure of others, what can you enjoy?”

  1. MushyMajor Says:

    Ah, one of those moments in life when you actually manage to think of the right thing to say at the right time rather than my usual 5 minutes after the event.

  2. MushyMajor Says:

    Oh, and why is is that I need to read your blog in conjunction with dictionary.com?

    Concominant. I ask you!!


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