Why do I attract weirdos?

October 17, 2006

Even the simple act of purchasing a round of drinks can these days descend into farce. Whilst at the bar last night, I fell foul of the caprices of a French barman. A rough transcript follows.

Me: 3 San Miguels please.
Barman: You are English?
Me: Yes. You must get a lot of that round here [We were in Westminster at the time].
Barman: I am French. Remember 1815?
Me: Yes – it was about 3 hours ago. We were in the Livery.
Barman: No, idiot. The year.
Me: Oh. Battle of Waterloo?
Barman: Yes. You bastards.
Me: Where in France are you from?
Barman: Normandy.
Me: How much do I owe you?
Barman: Ten sixty six.

Had I been sober at the time, I would have noticed that £10.66 is not a multiple of 3. And a bit steep for 3 pints.


5 Responses to “Why do I attract weirdos?”

  1. decster Says:

    Perhaps you should have pointed out that the Battle of Waterloo was won by an Irishman with the help of a German. The English were just along for the ride.

  2. Lawrence Says:

    Surely the response to ‘Remember 1815?’ is ‘What, the last time anyone in Normandy washed?’ No?

  3. MushyMajor Says:

    Point of order, and not that pedantry runs in the family, but of course, Dublin was at the time part of the British Empire. Had they have been required in 1815, the Duke of Wellington would have had a British passport. Your man von Blucher would today be Polish.

    The order of battle would suggest that the relative size of the armies involved (French, Prussian, Anglo Dutch) was roughly similar. Along for the ride? I think not!!

  4. decster Says:

    I merely raised the point of nationality as the barman was having a go at the English and not the British. Perhaps Mushy should have parried with the thought that had Napoleon been born a year earlier, he would have been Genoese and not French. Sadly, Mushy was wasted at the time and was thus bettered by a Frenchman on the one subject other than chemistry with which he might have had a fighting chance.

  5. Rua MacTírean Says:

    “Arthur Wellesley”
    Born in Ireland though he may have been, he would have had the option of dual citizenship. With a name like that, and his own ethnic association, one would have to assume that he’d take an English passport over an Irish one. Thus, he is an Englishman.

    Before you say it: yes, loads of people do this. It is, for example, common for Catholics in Northern Ireland to carry Irish as opposed to British passports.

    Either way, yer man was an ignorant welp and you should’ve refused to pay, asked for the manager or come back after closing and burnt the place down

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