Do I look like I play golf?

February 1, 2007

I have blathered on previously about how I so dislike being harangued by the hoi polloi on my walks from and to Fenchurch Street Station in the morning and afternoon. This morning, one of the passenger-harassers really deflated me with one simple question.  She was peddling some rubbish related to a golf spa [in itself, two words which can almost guarantee my non-attendance, even without the subsequent depressing questions], and bounded up to me in a rather square manner, and proceeded to ask if I play golf.

Woe is me—when did I start looking that old? It wasn’t so long ago that people would come up to me with flyers spouting lines with the general ilk of “Hey man. You look rad! I bet you know what the inside of a roller disco looks like.” To which I’d tuck my loon pants into my fluorescent socks—so as to not get them entangled in the chain of my BMX—and I’d be off with my street new friends. Now, though, I get squares coming up to me asking me if I’d like to partake in their hobby.*

Maybe it’s time to acknowledge that the last time any brown hair grew out of the side of my head, Bananarama were still in the charts, and that I’m only a flyaway eyebrow or two away from drawing a pension.

Why am I even writing this down? I’m off on a well-publicised snowboarding trip soon, at which one shall proceed to show you just how hip one really is.

*Golf is not a sport. I’ll tell you why later. Maybe after a nice nap.


2 Responses to “Do I look like I play golf?”

  1. MushyMajor Says:

    The dividing line between a game and a sport has to be whether or not you (are meant to) get out of breath whilst participating. See Snooker/darts for other examples.

    Snow boarding? Yikes!!

  2. Dec Says:

    I’m surprised she thought you played any sport let alone golf.

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