Arsenal ’til I die

August 7, 2007

Although not a fan of soccerball per se, I recently visited West Highbury with my brother to watch the Woolwich Arsenal play.  Whilst enjoying the match in between naps, I noticed a number of people sporting shirts proudly emblazoned with the motto “Arsenal till I die”. Although I immediately accepted the spelling mistake as nothing more than a typo, this set my mind wandering—an all-too-easy thing to happen during a football match.  While the wearer is no doubt displaying an admirable loyalty to his chosen club in life, I can only assume that he has therefore given tacit approval to be buried in a Tottenham kit.

Although it doesn’t scan quite as well, perhaps a more loophole-free shirt would read “Arsenal up to and including the moment of my interment.”

However, this leaves the door open somewhat to misinterpretation, so some small print necessitates itself.

“Although interment is mentioned specifically, I will be as fond of Arsenal FC in the event of my cremation, burial at sea, or appropriation by Gunter von Hagens. The value of football clubs may go down as well as up. Your stadium is at risk if you do not keep up repayments on a mortgage or other loan secured upon it.”

I think we’ll all agree that this completely obviates any risk of  improper burial clothes, in a catchy manner, perfectly capable of holding its own on the streets.


One Response to “Arsenal ’til I die”

  1. Mushymajor Says:

    Between naps? I think you mean between pints.

    I believe lettering costs about a pound a throw, hence you don’t see many Jan Vennegoor of Hesselink shirts about.

    I have found a flaw in your argument too. If we take your example with disclaimer, then we’re talking about 303 characters to purchase. By the time your average young lad has saved his pocket money up to afford his ‘Arsenal till I die’ shirt, then corporate machine would have chnged the original kit another 12 times. Unworkable. I suggest tattoing would be the best whole life cost option. This place charges $50-$75 a letter. Obviously flights and accommodation are extras. On the face of it, very expensive, but what you should really be asking yourself is, with the current strength of the pound, can you afford not to?

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