Flanorexia

October 30, 2007

flān’ə-rěk’sē-ə

-noun
a disease characterised by excessive corpulence; especially that which exhibits itself in spite of the protestations of the flanorexic (vide infra) that their diet is perfectly healthy and low-calorie.

-Related forms
flanorexic – noun – one who quotes genetics as the cause of their seemingly-exponential weight gain whilst in the process of swallowing a whole slice of cheesecake.

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An exciting new twist in the documented-via-the-medium-of-low-quality-mobile-phone demolition of 20 Fenchurch St—well—twisted over the weekend. For a while, I’ve been rather perplexed by the appearance of a large steel cradle wrapped around the concrete core of the building (see below). You can see it as the zig-zaggy bit where the first floor used to be. Until the appearance of the vertical I-beams in each corner (best seen on the mid-left of the pic), I had no idea what it was for. Were the savants at Keltbray going to lower floors 3 and 4 down the I-beams slowly onto the cradle?

number 20, mid october

NO! It’s so much better than that. Over the weekend,the cradle has been lifted up to directly underneath the 3rd floor, where one can only assume that the connectors at the top of the 4th floor will be cut—I saw some eager Keltbrayers wielding gas-axes at the top of 4— and then both floors will be gracefully lowered to the ground.

20 fenchurch street, late october

How great is that? Notice the zig-zaggy thing is now where the 2nd floor used to be, half way up the legs at either corner.

Although the approach being taken is so much less picturesque that good old fashioned shape charges and showmanship, you’ve just got to admire how the old place is coming down, no matter what you think of what’s going up in its place.

Gabbit

October 18, 2007

We find ourselves in interesting political times. With the resignation of Menzies Campbell, the LibDems are about to embark on their seemingly annual parade of weirdos. Yes – it’s leadership election time.

Likely to feature in this cavalcade of social outcasts is the political machine pictured below, which raises the question of nomenclature. Others have posited Lembriela as the portmanteau of choice. Personally, I cannot think of a worse choice. “Lembriela” is a lovely word. It scans well, and without too much imagination, one can see oneself sat on the shores of Lake Garda in the tiny village of Lembriela, enjoying the sunset, a cheeky glass of red, and a magnificent meal with a loved one. The word to describe the pair has to be “Gabbit”. Gabbit is an ugly, clunky word, thus making it perfectly suited to describe the ugly, clunky union between a pumpkin-on-a-stick and a socially-awkward, wonky-faced politico.

Gabbitica

I trust that readers of the Mumblings will be discerning enough to make the right choice in this important matter of national significance.